*~The Beginning~*

~My Birth Story~

~This song sings about my birth's events. I have chosen to add it here before my birth story because it reflects part of its happenings. This song touches the core of my being every single time I hear it and it makes me realize that PAPA DIEU was there all the time~

Because YOU LOVED me!

I don't know how I survived

In this cold and empty world for all this time

I only know that I'm alive

Because YOU LOVED me

When I recall what I've been through

Theres some things that I wish I didn't do

Now I know the things I do

Because YOU LOVED me

And now that YOU'RE in my life,

I'm so glad I'm alive

Cause YOU showed me the way

And I know now I good it can be,

Because YOU LOVED me

Oh, and now that YOU'RE in my life

Oohh I'm so glad I'm alive

Cause YOU showed me the way and

I know now how good it can be

Because YOU LOVED me

I believe in things unseen

I believe in the message of a dream

And I believe in WHAT YOU ARE

Because YOU LOVED me

With all my heart, and all my soul

I'm loving YOU and I'll never will let it go

And every day I'll let it show

Because YOU LOVED me

Ooh ooh because YOU LOVED me

Song by: JoDee Messina

from CD; I'm Alright

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~On a winter storm, February 1946, a Saturday, I was born on this Earth in a hospital toilet. My earthly mother told me this story time after time as I was growing up, that, when I was born, she had been brought to the hospital by her doctor himself, who drove about thirty miles in a driving snow storm to the hospital because of complications in delivering me. At the hospital the doctor had instructed that a nurse was to stay at my earthly mother's bedside 24hrs. a day, but the nurse on duty left mother's bedside for a certain amount of time due to go smoking. My earthly mother knew I was close to enter this world, she did not ring for the nurse but walked to the bathroom in delirious pain-she described every time she told me that story how much pain I caused her. Here, due to a very lengthy story I omit all its details- walking all by herself to the bathroom where I was born, in the toilet. She also told me that my arms were what had stopped my body from going in the hole to the sewer, that, my arms were extended outward, like a cross manner, and, that she saw my head all illuminated. She stopped her story by saying that, I was taken out of the hospital that same day I was born, and brought home to be taken care of by my then unmarried paternal aunt, and I was baptized the next day, that was a Sunday. My aunt took care of me! My earthly mother has told me this story a thousand times over.

One day though, when I was in my early 40's we had gone to visit them, she was in one of her rage, and swearing(ly) yelling at me and then she screamed out; (what she did to me when I was born in the hospital's bathroom). And then added what she was doing to me when I was born and that she had not succeeded, then finally ending her "rage" by yelling and screaming with more swearing me to hell. We left and we didn't go visit them for a while after that.

Then one Sunday afternoon when I was in my late 50's, my husband and I were enjoying a Sunday drive I had a sudden urge to go visit my earthly mother. I asked him if he wanted to go see her, who was then widowed and living in a residence for the elderly. We did go see her.

As I entered her room first she grabbed me and gave me a great big huge hug, gave a hug to my husband, that totally surprised me for she had never showed such affection to me before, ever. Then she said, "I have something to tell you that has been in my heart for as long as you were born and I just have to tell you. Come sit next to me and listen". I sat next to her on her bed and my husband sat in the rocking chair and moved it next to me.

Then she started by making the sign of the cross -blessing herself- clasped her hands together - it made a smack sound- and raising them in the air, looking up at the ceiling said: "as true as there is a God who enlightens me, (said my name), I never took you for my child"!!!

I do not remember what she added after those words, but I remember my husband touched my thigh and motioned me to get out of there. But my earthly mother had seen him touch me and said to him, "I'm not done (saying his name)". That had brought my thoughts back to where I was, I turned to him and added, "I want to hear all that is in her heart, and the truth". She then continued her story, but, by expressing her sadness that I had been attached to my paternal aunt more than to her, and, that she was not happy about that! That confused me.

All my young life she had been accusing me of loving my aunt more than her and I never knew why she was thinking that. Then she added what she had told me over and over again that "when you were born there was another woman, a nun, having a baby that was in the same room with me and the hospital made a mistake, they switched you with that woman's baby. You are not my baby, you are not my girl...". She then added another bomb shell; "well, your aunt took care of you for three years after you were born for I had a sick baby..." That shocked me to the core of my being, again.

"Mother", I exclaimed, "I was a baby!!! The person who was taking care of me, the face that I saw daily, the face that fed, cleaned and took care of me, daily, for me, then, I was seeing a mother, my mother!!!? That must be why I was attached to aunt ... when I was a child and I never knew why, I even asked myself why aunt ... was so nice to me!"

I just had to leave then, because, I did not want her to see me crying. We left. I cried a river of sadness. ~

~PS. Here I would like to say,

PLEASE, do not judge what you read here about my earthly mother.

I have forgiven her totally, I do not condemn her, judge her, hold a grudge against her.

For who am I to judge my neighbor.

"If I do not judge, I will not be judged".

And for that matter, who on this earth did not sin?

I have made my PEACE with my earthly mother and I pray

she had made her peace with PAPA DIEU!

If, she would not have done that to me, I would not be here

writing about the LOVE I WAS GIVEN AT MY BIRTH.

Remember,

if you judge, you in turn will be judged!

May you be blessed for understanding!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

~It just dawned on me, today, that I should add here that

I look so much like my earthly mother that when

people who knew her and sees me keep telling me

how I do look like her.

So I definitely am her daughter!!!~

~After several years from writing the above story, as I'm writing this -January 14, 2016- I was doing my daily prayers and the Psalm of one day was Psalm 18 ... Now I tried to find the exact day I read it but I cannot find it in my searches, but it was late in the year, between October and December 2015. Here is what I read starting with verse 3, to part of 7:

I

I love you, LORD, my strength,

LORD, my rock, my fortress, my deliverer,

My God, my rock of refuge,

my shield, my saving horn, my stronghold!

Praised be the LORD, I exclaim!

I have been delivered from my enemies.

II

The breakers of death surged round about me;

the menacing floods terrified me.

The cords *of Sheol tightened:

the snares of death lay in wait for me.

In my distress I called out: LORD!

I cried out to my God.

From his temple* he heard my voice.

I remember being totally shocked at what I had just read, I wrote 'Ps 18' on a paper, not adding the day. After reading this Psalm many times, I am certain, it had never hit me the way it did that day in 2015. I praise PAPA DIEU for always being with me all my life, between times of horror and so much pain, that HE has never abandoned me, HE keeps showing me daily with a Daisy, the word Daisy, even in French -Marguerite- I see/hear Daisy daily.

Thank YOU PAPA DIEU, again, for not forgetting me, still, and, I Love YOU too!

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